General- Stupidity

OR WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND:

2005-11-04T07:44:00.000-07:00

Calif. Man Caught in 'HOV' Lane With Dummy

SAN RAFAEL, Calif. - Say what you want about police officers, but they are no dummies. The California Highway Patrol gave Kevin Morgan, 28, of Petaluma, a $351 citation for driving in a high occupancy vehicle or "HOV" lane with a kickboxing dummy propped in the passenger seat.

The dummy was wearing a Miami Dolphins windbreaker and a baseball cap but Officer Will Thompson noticed that the "passenger" had no legs.

"When I looked inside his window, I thought, 'Oh, that's cute,'" Thompson said. "I didn't even ask him where he got it. I think he was pretty embarrassed because all the people driving by were laughing."

Thompson often parks next to a car pool lane and stands on his car door rail to look down into passing vehicles. His point of view allowed him to see the legless dummy.

"I think about the only thing he said was, 'Well, that didn't help me very much today, did it?'" Thompson said. "I said, 'No, it didn't.'

Thompson then placed the dummy on a freeway shoulder to deter other commuters from similar schemes.
Story from REDORBIT NEWS:
http://www.redorbit.com/news/display/?id=294581

Published: 2005/11/04 00:00:06 CST

Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet

2005-11-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

Man Sues Hardware Store After Using Glue-Covered Bathroom Toilet Seat
The Associated PressThe Associated Press

BOULDER, Colorado Nov 2, 2005 — A hardware retailer Home Depot has found itself in a sticky situation, defending a lawsuit filed by a man who claims the chain's Louisville store ignored his cries for help after he fell victim to a prank and was glued to a toilet seat.

Bob Dougherty, 57, of Nederland, said he became stuck to a bathroom toilet seat on which somebody had smeared glue on Oct. 30, 2003, and felt "tremendous panic" when he realized he was stuck.

"They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. "They just let me rot."
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His lawsuit, filed Friday said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery at the time and thought he was having a heart attack. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk via radio, but the head clerk "believed it to be a hoax," the lawsuit said.

Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation.

The lawsuit said after about 15 minutes, store officials called for an ambulance. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and while wheeling a "frightened and humiliated" Dougherty out of the store, he passed out.

The lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.

"This is not Home Depot's fault," he said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me."

Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Thief Steals $75,000 Worth of Bull Semen

2005-11-03T05:57:00.000-07:00

WOLFSVILLE, Md. - Someone stole $75,000 worth of bull semen from a Frederick County farm, the sheriff's office says. Eric Fleming said the six small canisters of frozen semen taken from a liquid nitrogen tank represented four to five years of collection work.

He said he had planned to sell it and use the proceeds to expand his breeding herd of shorthorn beef cattle.

"I'm so depressed about this that I probably will get out of the cattle business," Fleming said Tuesday.

He said he found the semen missing from an outbuilding on his Stonewood Acres farm in northwestern Frederick County Sunday night.

Fleming said the canisters held the semen of 40 to 50 bulls.
Story from REDORBIT NEWS:
http://www.redorbit.com/news/display/?id=293395

Published: 2005/11/02 21:00:12 CST

© RedOrbit 2005

AFTER READING THIS BLOG:

2005-11-01T06:21:00.000-07:00

Head on over to my other Music Blog:

Music,Music,Music... at http://music-lifesblood.blogspot.com/

Link to the left.

STILL LOOKING FOR PRINCESS DI?

2005-11-01T06:15:00.000-07:00

More Britons Believe in Ghosts Than in God

LONDON - More Britons believe in ghosts than in God, according to an informal survey published Monday. Of 2,012 people who completed a questionnaire, 68 percent said they believed in the existence of ghosts and spirits, while 55 percent said they believed in the existence of a god.

The Halloween survey was carried out by retailer ChoicesUK. But since it was not a random sample, its findings do not represent a statistically valid barometer of British opinion.

Some 26 percent said they believed in the existence of unidentified flying objects, or UFOs, while 19 percent believed in reincarnation. Just 4 percent admitted believing that the Loch Ness Monster was more than a myth.

Of those who believed in ghosts, 12 percent said they had actually seen an apparition and 76 percent said that TV reality shows about the supernatural and films like the spooky "Blair Witch Project" had played a part in convincing them that ghouls exist.

"We want to believe in ghosts more than ever and are far more likely to take the word of a reality documentary or convincing movie than hearsay or ancient ghost stories," ChoicesUK spokesman David Rich said.

"Seeing it with our own eyes helps feed our imagination and makes the unbelievable believable."
Story from REDNOVA NEWS:
http://www.rednova.com/news/display/?id=290489

AH....The Good Life:

2005-10-31T15:07:00.000-07:00

Nude Sunbathing Video Of Janet Jackson Turns Up Online

POSTED: 5:41 am PDT October 28, 2005
UPDATED: 5:55 am PDT October 28, 2005

NEW YORK -- Something else for Janet Jackson fans to buzz about.

There's a video of the singer making the rounds on the Internet -- and it shows her sunbathing naked. The 40-second clip was shot from bushes near Jackson.

Her lawyers reportedly have been trying to get the video off the Web. On one site, there's a freeze-frame of the video. But the link to the full clip was taken down.

In its place was a message: "removed because lawsuits aren't really my thing."

It's unclear when or where the video was taken. Stills that appear to be taken from the same video were being posted online last year.

Wisconsin Cat Sails to France:

2005-10-28T07:31:00.000-07:00

Wisconsin Cat Sails to France

APPLETON, Wis. - When Emily the cat went missing a month ago, her owners looked for their wandering pet where she had ended up before - the local animal shelter. This week they learned Emily sailed to France.

Lesley McElhiney now figures her cat went prowling around a paper warehouse near home and ended up in a cargo container that went by ship across the Atlantic Ocean and was trucked to Nancy, a city in northeastern France near the border with Germany.

Employees at a French lamination company found her in the container, checked her tags and called Emily's veterinarian, John Palarski, in Kimberly, just east of Appleton.

Palarski called the McElhineys Monday to tell them their pet was safe, if a little hungry.

"It probably had access to food and water," Palarski said. "I doubt if it went three weeks without it. There must have been a lot of mice on the boat. Even if it was in the cargo department, you would assume there was water down there. She had to have something."

Palarski faxed French authorities with the cat's vaccination records to help remove her from quarantine, but the family is wondering how they will retrieve the pet.

Emily will need a health certificate from France to return home, and she will have to go through quarantine again on entering the United States, Palarski said.

The friend of a co-worker is going to Germany next week, but that's a country away.

"The only thing we can think right now is buying a plane ticket," McElhiney said. "She already cost us some the first time we got her from the humane society. She's getting to be an expensive little thing."

---

Information from: The Post-Crescent, http://www.wisinfo.com/postcrescent

THE DUMBING OF AMERICA

2005-10-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

Salon.com | Shipwrecked

There is no one left to rescue the Republican Party from George W. Bush. He is home alone. The Republican-establishment wise men whose words were once quiet commands are shouting unheeded warnings. The Republican leaders of Congress are distracted and obsessed with their own crises of corruption.Suspended House Majority Leader Tom DeLay is under indictment for criminal campaign practices while Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is under investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission for insider stock trading in his family-owned Hospital Corporation of America. The only revolt brewing in the Senate is on the right against President Bush's nomination of his White House legal counsel, Harriet Miers, to the Supreme Court; some Republican senators fear her potential for secret liberal heresy despite the president's protestations of her conservative purity. Salon.com | Shipwrecked

NEW SITE CHANGES:

2005-10-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

Coming very soon, A revamping of My Blog........Hope you"ll check it out.

Police investigate party attended by Vikings players

2005-10-13T11:58:00.000-07:00

SO THE PROBLEM IS.................(BOB)

EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. -- Investigators are looking into a party attended by several Minnesota Vikings players that allegedly involved drunkenness, nudity and visible sexual activity on a pair of charter cruises last week.

No criminal charges had been filed as of Wednesday, and it could take a couple of weeks before investigators finish interviewing people who were on the boats, said Sgt. Haans Vitek of the Hennepin County Sheriff's Office. A police report was filed Sunday.
"It doesn't make things any simpler," coach Mike Tice said Wednesday, "and quite frankly I'm not happy about it."

Stephen Doyle, an attorney representing the boats' owners, has said cornerback Fred Smoot paid for one of the cruises last Thursday on Lake Minnetonka. He said about 90 people were on the boats, which returned to shore more than two hours earlier than scheduled when crew members complained about lewd behavior.
Tice, whose team has struggled to a 1-3 start this year, said Wednesday that the latest distraction "can tear a team apart or bring us together, and it's my job to bring the team together."
Smoot said Wednesday after practice that he was planning to take legal action against whomever "put my name in there."
"They're killing my name," Smoot said as he walked to his car in the parking lot. "Point blank. Somebody's going to have to pay for it."

The team released a one-paragraph statement Tuesday saying: "The organization has been made aware of the allegations involving our players and we take these allegations very seriously. We are working diligently to gather as many facts as possible. At this time, we have no further comment."

The locker room was mostly empty Wednesday during the time it was open to the media, and all the players who spoke refused to comment on the outing. Running back Mewelde Moore said he was on one of the boats, but saw none of the alleged behavior.
"That's crazy. Sex? Come on," said Moore, the team's leading rusher with 187 yards.
Vikings owner Zygi Wilf didn't return a phone call or an e-mail requesting comment on the report.

AP NEWSThe Associated Press News Service

Alleged Thief Nabbed After Leaving Phone:

2005-10-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

FORT SMITH, Ark. - A teenager accused of taking part in a string of automobile burglaries in Fort Smith made it easy for police to find him. He left his cell phone behind.

At least eight vehicles were broken into over the weekend in a Fort Smith neighborhood, and several mo-peds also were stolen.

As police combed through one of the burglarized vehicles, officers found a cell phone that did not belong to the vehicle owner. The phone traced back to Brian Lee Scott Elliot, 18, of Fort Smith, Detective Ron Lockhart said.

While investigating Elliot, police developed three other suspects, Jeffery Hass, 18, and two 16-year-old boys, Lockhart said.

A search warrant for the home of one of the suspects, who lives in the same neighborhood where the break-ins took place, turned up goods that were stolen as well as the missing mo-peds.

Police questioned Elliot and the two 16-year-olds Monday afternoon, and all three were arrested on multiple complaints of residential burglary, theft of property over $2,500 and breaking and entering, Lockhart said. Hass was arrested on multiple complaints of residential burglary, theft of property over $2,500 and breaking and entering, Lockhart said.

Days Numbered for New Car Smell

2005-10-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

TOKYO-October 3, 2005 - That new car smell could be going the way of leaded gasoline.

Japanese automakers are producing cars that don't have the characteristic fresh-from-the-showroom odor.

Researchers in Japan say that unmistakable new car smell is actually a toxic cocktail of harmful chemicals.

The Japanese government has guidelines on reducing cabin concentrations of the fumes.

Ford and GM say they're studying the issue.

U.S. Representative McKinney Censored in Congress

2005-10-03T15:50:00.000-07:00

WHAT A CROCK:GENERAL-STUPIDITY

Reviewed by Charlene Jones

Representative Cynthia McKinney (D-GA) used the word "impeachment" on the House floor but, she said, it was not reflected in the official transcript of her September 8 description of "high crimes and misdemeanors visited on the American people." In a speech entitled Tremendous Challenges that Face our Country, McKinney recounted the incompetence of the Bush Administration in addressing the needs of hurricane Katrina victims and the policies of Republican elites responsible for rampant poverty and an increased racial divide. Questioning everything from the lack of action on Katrina to rewarding the rich, the congresswoman later promised to use the word repeatedly on the House Floor until she sees it reflected in the Congressional Record.

www.rense.com/general67/specorder.htm

AND THE SEPTEMBER WINNER IS:

2005-10-03T14:53:00.000-07:00

Man Breaks Display Case to Read Rare Book

By The Associated Press

MADISON, Wis. - A man smashed a display case at the Wisconsin Historical Society to steal a Revolutionary War-era book worth $5,000, authorities say.

Matthew Brooke, 26, was charged Friday with felony theft of library materials and criminal damage to property. He went to the Historical Society on Thursday, according to a criminal complaint, and smashed the window on a second-floor antique display case with his elbow. He allegedly swiped the "Pennsylvania Evening Post" from inside the case.

The book is a collection of the newspaper's issues dating from January to April 1777.

A police officer found the book stuck in the waistband of Brooke's pants, the complaint said. Brooke told detectives he took the book because he wanted to read a story on page 106 about a historical figure named William Hill.

Story from REDNOVA NEWS:
http://www.rednova.com/news/display/?id=257850

iWon News Photo - NEW TEN

2005-10-03T13:31:00.000-07:00

iWon News Photo - NEW TEN

Ind. Man Falls Asleep While Siphoning Gas

2005-09-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

MUNCIE, Ind. - A man was charged with theft after authorities said he fell asleep while siphoning gasoline into a 55-gallon tank. The gas station manager called police after noticing the man's white van Tuesday.

Stolen ambulance turns up escapee and a dead 6-point buck

2005-09-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

Paul Rasmussen - Jacksonville, FL

A man missing from a Jacksonville, Florida hospital where patients get help with drug and alcohol abuse and mental illness turned up in North Carolina.

North Carolina state troopers say 37-year-old Leon Holliman was dressed like a doctor, driving a stolen ambulance. And that's not the weird part.

There was a deer in the back, a dead 6-point buck hooked up to an IV.

Holliman went missing in August and apparently stole the ambulance over the weekend.

Troopers used stop sticks to end a 2 state chase.

EROTIC CHAT, GOUNDS FOR DIVORCE?

2005-09-28T13:03:00.000-07:00

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - Erotic talk with a virtual partner in chatrooms on the Internet are enough grounds for a spouse to file for divorce, a legal magazine said Wednesday, citing a recent ruling in Belgium.

Belgian legal publication De Juristenkrant said the Brussels Appeals Court ruled that although transcripts of the erotic chatroom conversation do not prove adultery, they do constitute proof of "grossly insulting behavior" which is sufficient grounds to file for divorce.

© Reuters 2005. All Rights Reserved.

WOMEN DEAD....ELECTED TO OFFICE:

2005-09-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

ISLAMABAD (Reuters) - Police in northwestern Pakistan have launched an inquiry after complaints about two dead women being declared elected in a local election held last month, election officials said Monday.

The women, one of whom died 13 years ago, were elected as councilors in the Upper Dir district in the North West Frontier Province, according to the News daily newspaper. The other woman died three years ago.

Khushalzada Khan, assistant election officer in Upper Dir, told Reuters if the women were found to be dead, then fresh voting would be ordered in those seats and action could be taken against those who nominated them.

Upper Dir is a deeply conservative region where tribal elders backed by radical Islamist clerics in July banned women from standing in the election or casting votes.

But hundreds of women defied the ban after the central government said it was unconstitutional and vowed to support women taking part in the election.

Newspapers did not speculate on the reason why two dead women may have been nominated or suggest it was a case of mistaken identity.

IS THIS REALLY ME?

2005-09-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

You are a
Social Moderate
(43% permissive)

and an...
Economic Moderate
(50% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Centrist

Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Brother, 13, sister, 14 attending college:

2005-09-27T10:54:00.000-07:00

BERKELEY, CA-September 26, 2005 - Mayumi and Charles Pierce aren't your typical college transfer students.

They're juniors at the University of California, Berkeley, at an age when most kids are nervous about just starting high school. Mayumi is 14, while her young brother is 13.

They've already had three years at a community college. Now they're taking classes like philosophy and biochemistry.

Mayumi says they like Cal, but it's hard to get to class on time because the campus is so big.

MSNBC: Tim Russert

2005-09-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

On the September 25 edition of NBC's Meet the Press, Jefferson Parish president Aaron Broussard lashed out at host Tim Russert for rebroadcasting Broussard's appearance on Meet the Press three weeks ago, in which he emotionally recounted the story of the death of the mother of Jefferson Parish emergency services director Thomas Rodrigue.
MSNBC reported that Thomas Rodrigue disputed some portions of Broussard's version of those events, including the date of Eva Rodrigue's death.
On September 25, responding to Russert's questions regarding Broussard's account, Broussard criticized attempts of "black-hearted people [who] want to nitpick a man's mother's death," and stated that "Mother Nature is not playing any political games" in light of the tragedy he has witnessed.

Gay penguin goes straight:

2005-09-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

From: correspondents in New York

September 26, 2005

THE animal kingdom's most famous gay couple has split up. Silo and Roy, the cohabiting penguins of Central Park Zoo, are no longer an item.
The pair rose to prominence six years ago when they came out with their same-sex relationship.

Since then, they have successfully hatched and raised an adoptive chick (after an uncertain start that involved trying to incubate a rock).

They blazed a trail for six other gay penguin couples at the zoo.

But the affair ended when Scrappy, a new female penguin, moved into the neighbourhood and caught Silo's eye.

"Silo and Roy stopped spending as much time together or building a nest," John Rowden, the zoo's head curator, told The New York Post.

Advertisement:
Silo promptly moved in with Scrappy, building a new nest with her.

Zookeepers are at a loss to explain Silo's sudden conversion.

Source: wastedblog.com

DAVID LETTER MAN IS EVIL:

2005-09-23T06:57:00.000-07:00

**** THE PROOF THAT David Letterman IS EVIL ****

D A V I D L E T T E R M A N
68 65 86 73 68 76 69 84 84 69 82 77 65 78 - as ASCII values
5 2 5 1 5 4 6 3 3 6 1 5 2 6 - digits added
\_________/ \_________/ \_________/ \_________/ \_____/
3 1 3 3 8 - digits added

Thus, "David Letterman" is 31338.

Divide by 3, the symbol of fulfillment - the result is 10446.

Add 1912, the year Theodore Roosevelt was shot - the result is 12358.

Turn the number backwards, subtract 1887 - the year Erwin Schrodinger, known for hatred to all furry animals and heresy, was born. The number is now 83434.

Subtract 041 from the number - this is the smallest harmonic divisor number, written backwards. It gives 83393.

Add 7, the sacred number of Illuminati - the result is 83400.

This number, when read backwards, gives 00438. This, written in octal, gives 666 - the number of the Beast.

Enough said - QED.

CONDOMS ARE NAMED FOR CLINTON, LEWINSKI

2005-09-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

BEIJING - A rubber company in China has begun marketing condoms under the brand names Clinton and Lewinsky, apparently seeking to exploit the White House affair that led to the impeachment of America's 42nd president.

Spokesman Liu Wenhua of the Guangzhou Rubber Group said the company was handing out 100,000 free Clinton and Lewinsky condoms as part of a promotion to raise consumer awareness of its new products.

He said that after the promotion ends, the Clinton condoms will go on sale in southern China for 29.8 Yuan ($3.72) for a box of 12, while the Lewinsky model will be priced at 18.8 Yuan ($2.35) for the same quantity.

"The Clinton condom will be the top of our line," he said. "The Lewinsky condom is not quite as good."

Liu said the company had chosen to use the Clinton name because consumers viewed the former president as a responsible person, who would want to stress safe sex as an effective way to prevent the spread of the HIV virus.

"The names we chose are symbols of people who are responsible and dedicated to their jobs," he said. "I believe Bill Clinton cannot be unhappy about this because he's a very generous man."

Liu said the company did not believe using the Clinton and Lewinsky names constituted a violation of copyright or other laws.

"We have received full approval from the local Industrial and Commercial Bureau to start production," he said.

Clinton has campaigned aggressively for heightened AIDS awareness in China, where the disease is spreading rapidly.

In impeachment proceedings conducted by the U.S. Senate in 1999, he was acquitted on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. The charges stemmed from denials he made about a sexual relationship he maintained with Lewinsky, a former White House intern.
Story from REDNOVA NEWS:

100 Things to do when ordering a pizza by phone

2005-09-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST- EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.

11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets" CD.

13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

84. When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say #100. in your best pouty voice,

100. "Last guy let me do it."

What kind of Angel or Demon are you?

2005-09-20T08:52:00.000-07:00

ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT THIS IS ME!

?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
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Man Breaks "Couch Potato" Record

2005-09-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK -- Couch potato, thy name is Suresh. Suresh Joachim broke the Guinness world record for the longest time spent watching TV. He finished Friday with 69 hours and 48 minutes.

After passing the previous record of 50 hours and 7 minutes Thursday, Joachim continued until shortly after 7 a.m. Friday morning (EDT).

Joachim did his TV viewing in the lobby of WABC-TV as part of the "Guinness World Record Breaker Week" on the syndicated "Live With Regis and Kelly."

Sitting on a brown leather couch, he watched nothing but ABC shows.

"I'm going to be a little tired of watching TV after this," Joachim told The Associated Press by phone during a brief break.

Rules for the couch potato honor, as stipulated by Guinness, allow for a 5-minute break every hour and a 15-minute break every 8 hours. The viewer must otherwise be constantly looking at the screen.

The hardest part, Joachim said on "Regis and Kelly," was "I couldn't watch the people" - the many, waving passers-by on the street outside the ABC studio.

Joachim, who lives in Toronto but hails from Sri Lanka, now holds more than 16 Guinness records, including the longest duration balancing on one foot (76 hours, 40 minutes) and bowling for 100 hours. He does it, he says, to raise awareness of suffering children.

Source: Red Nova

My Key

2005-09-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

You're the key to handcuffs. You set people free,
or maybe lock them up. You can be sought,
fought over, and valued. Be careful who you let
use you; you can be an instrument of justice or
injustice depending on your choice.

What sort of key are you and what do you unlock?
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NO SMILING FOR PASSPORT PHOTOS IN GERMANY:

2005-09-15T14:57:00.000-07:00

BERLIN - Germans were ordered Thursday to stay serious when having their photographs taken for new passports, wiping away any grins, smirks or smiles so that biometric scanners can pick up their facial features.

Interior Minister Otto Schily ordered passport authorities to only accept pictures taken from the front showing the "most neutral facial expression possible," starting Nov. 1.
Facial recognition systems match key features on the holder's face and work best when the face has a neutral expression with the mouth closed.

"A broad smile, however nice it may be, is therefore unacceptable," the Interior Ministry said in a statement.

German officials showcased the new passports in June, saying that they would be much harder to forge or tamper with. Two scanned fingerprints are also to be stored on a chip built into the passport cover from March 2007.

The passports are part of a host of security measures passed by the German government after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks.

Biometric passports have already been introduced in Canada and the United States.
The European Union agreed common standards in December last year.

Story from REDNOVA NEWS:http://www.rednova.com/news/display/?id=240383

My Point Exactly:

2005-09-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Man Learns Brother Is Wanted

2005-09-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

WATERLOO, N.Y. - Nicholas Cerino could recognize one of "America's Most Wanted," the fugitive profiled on the show Saturday night was sitting in his living room.
Mark Cerino, 41, was identified on the show as a contractor wanted in Florida for allegedly scamming elderly residents after last year's hurricanes.

Nicholas Cerino said he was "just dumbfounded" to hear a warrant had been issued in Brevard County, Fla., for his younger brother, who has been staying at his home in central New York.
Nine people called the show's tip line to report he was at his brother's home, and Mark Cerino was arrested within hours of the broadcast.

"America's Most Wanted" officials won't say whether Nicholas Cerino turned in his brother because the tipsters are anonymous, said Avery Mann, spokesman for the Fox TV show.
Mark Cerino was wanted on charges of contracting without a license during a state emergency. He was being held without bail at Seneca County Jail.

Nicholas Cerino said his brother had a 90-day contracting permit in Florida but couldn't get a license to work as a contractor when the permit expired. He said his brother repaid some customers and owes money to others.

He disputed allegations that his brother took money from unsuspecting victims and ran.
"This kid would give you the shirt off your back," Nicholas Cerino, a quadriplegic who owns a motorcycle shop in Waterloo, said in Monday's Post-Standard newspaper in Syracuse.

Sorry anyone

2005-09-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

I have been on Labor Day Vacation....And like the title of my Blog I forgot to mention it here last week but things will return to normal on Monday..............

AUGUST STUPIDITY WINNER: AP PRESS

2005-09-01T11:52:00.000-07:00

AUGUST STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER:
For the Idiots that shot these pictures, captioned them at all, and to the editors, publishers who had a hand in putting this crap out there.

First off no one knows what either person is or is not doing. and it really doesnt matter at this point. The facts are that these people are in trouble, there lives have been turned upside down and will take years to fix. The fact that AP and others chosse to make this a racial matter is by far the Stupidest thing I have ever heard of. When these photos were taken I think both of these individuals were in need of the items that they "Found or Looted", they both have been thru hell. And I say that anyone out there that is taken in by the BS that the media has made of these pictures gets runner up to AP Award.

Is he Going to be dropped from the top of the Ed Sullivan Theater?

2005-09-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

Donald Rumsfeld To Make First Appearance On Letterman Next Tuesday...

Associated Press | Posted September 1, 2005 10:20 AM

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld will make his first visit to the "Late Show With David Letterman" next week, CBS announced Wednesday.

Rumsfeld, who has been secretary of defense to President Bush since January 2001, will appear Tuesday night.

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Belive it or not.......

2005-08-31T15:04:00.000-07:00

If you don't Count politics, Law, Television, Radio, News Media, Iraq, Reality Shows, Blogs, Malls, Shopping Center, Parking Lots, Cindy Sheehan, Martha Stewart, Or the State of Wisconsin, not one Stupid thing happened today...........Go Figure.

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2005-08-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

I LOVE THIS VEHICLE

So Thats the secret Ladies.......

2005-08-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

Pam: Espressos make my nipples perky

Pamela Anderson says she loves drinking espressos - because it makes her nipples perky.

According to Elle magazine she said: "I do great cappuccinos - even though my mom calls them 'cap-a-cr*ps'.

"As far as coffee goes though, I'd say espresso gets the job done - it goes right to your nipples!"

Meanwhile, she says women should grow old gracefully and accept the ageing process.

She said: "Don't buy into all the anti-ageing secrets. It's a conspiracy. We're all getting older so accept it. Don't waste your money on loads of products. Don't stress!"

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His Parents must be Proud.........

2005-08-30T09:10:00.000-07:00

Thief goes to jail, reaches a milestone

Mon Aug 29,12:03 PM ET

An Indian petty thief and illicit liquor pedlar has notched up a record of sorts, his 100th prison sentence.

A local court in Hyderabad, capital of the southern Indian state of Andhra Pradesh, jailed 25-year-old Gopal Singh for one month, police said.

"Gopal Singh has spent his prime 13 years behind bars," police inspector Shankar Reddy told Reuters Saturday.

More than half his convictions have been for peddling local liquor, which is banned in Andhra Pradesh.

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Well there you have it!

2005-08-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

Chinese Researcher Warns of Nude Web Chats

SHANGHAI, China -- A Chinese researcher has warned of a new threat to public health and morality - naked Internet chatting. Up to 20,000 Chinese Internet users log on to chatrooms each night in which users in various states of undress talk to each other with the help of Web cams, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said Tuesday, citing China Youth Association researcher Liu Gang.

"At first, we thought if was merely a game for a few mentally abnormal people," the paper quoted Liu as saying. "But as our research continued, we found the problem was much larger than expected," Liu said.

Participants in the sites download chat software and attach video cameras to their computers, the paper reported. They then "talk with others while exposing themselves and performing provocative poses," it said.

China has more than 87 million Internet users, the second largest after the United States. Communist authorities have struggled to limit free discussion and other online content considered subversive while encouraging the Net's commercial applications.

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Quote

2005-08-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

Either I've been missing something or nothing has been going on.

Karen Elizabeth Gordon

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If your Looking For.........

2005-08-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

A great blog to titilate yor thinking, Go to my friend Steve's Blog. "Fearless Philosophy For Free Minds log " The link is listed on the right, Since it is from the right, and I think you'll enjoy it.

I Agree, Send Him To Venezuela

2005-08-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

Venezuela Wants Pat Robertson
CARACAS, Venezuela, Aug. 29, 2005

President Hugo Chavez said Sunday that his government may ask the United States to extradite U.S. religious broadcaster Pat Robertson to Venezuela for suggesting American agents should kill him.

Earlier Sunday, Rev. Jesse Jackson offered support for Chavez, saying the televangelist's call for the Venezuelan leader's assassination was a criminal act.

The U.S. civil rights leader, who is on a four-day visit to Venezuela, called Robertson's statements "immoral" and "illegal." He urged U.S. authorities to take action, and said the U.S. government must choose "diplomacy over any threats of sabotage or isolation or assassination."

Sunday, speaking to foreign delegations attending a meeting of the Organization of American States in Caracas, Chavez said Venezuela will "exercise legal action in the United States" against Robertson.

"Calling for the assassination of a head of state is a terrorist act," said Chavez, an outspoken critic of President Bush who has forged strong relations with communist-led Cuba.

"We could even request his extradition," he added.

Chavez told OAS delegates that Venezuela would consider bringing the issue to United Nations if the U.S. government failed to cooperate.

Robertson's comments last week have increased already tense relations between Caracas and Washington. On his TV show "The 700 Club," Robertson said Chavez "is a dangerous enemy to our south, controlling a huge pool of oil that could hurt us very badly. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don’t need another 200-billion-dollar war to get rid of one strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition of America, later issued an apology. "Is it right to call for assassination?," said Robertson, in a statement issued after an international furor over his remarks earlier in the week. "No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him."
Last Tuesday, the Bush administration swiftly distanced itself from Robertson's comments. State Department spokesman Sean McCormack called the remarks "inappropriate."

Venezuela has demanded a stronger condemnation of Robertson's remarks.

"We could offer him free psychiatric treatment ... but he could be a lost case" Chavez said sarcastically of Robertson and controversial statements the conservative commentator has made in the past.

Last year, Robertson said President Bush told him before the Iraq invasion: "We're not going to have any casualties," but that "the Lord told me it was going to be (a) a disaster and (b) messy." The White House issued denials.

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Only in New Jersy............

2005-08-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

Aug 25, 6:16 PM EDT

N.J. Officers Raid the Wrong House

NEWARK, N.J. (AP) -- Federal and state authorities are trying to determine how armed officers raided the wrong house, smashing doors and frightening residents earlier this week, a state police spokesman said Thursday.

"We are investigating what went wrong," said Sgt. Gerald Lewis Jr. "For some reason, whether it was erroneous information or supervision, we actually hit the wrong house."

He said the address on the state search warrant was correct, but that the team of state police SWAT officers and Drug Enforcement Administration agents went to the wrong street and raided a home with the same number on Tuesday.

An assessment of the damage had not been completed, Lewis said, "but of course we will work with the attorney general's office and other agencies to make restitution."

Residents of the four-family home in Newark said officers cursed at them while ripping through two upstairs apartments and asking where guns were for 15 minutes before realizing the mistake.

"The investigator said they were looking for bad people and they were in the wrong place," homeowner Cedelie Pompee told The Star-Ledger of Newark for Thursday's newspapers.

"That's a bad mistake they made," said Pompee, noting that several doors would not close properly.

Pompee, 59, has owned the house for 27 years, and shares it with her two sisters and their children, as well as a family that rents an apartment.

State police also hit a wrong house in May, raiding the home of a retired truck driver in Woodbridge while looking for a prostitution racket.

---

Information from: The Star-Ledger, http://www.nj.com/starledger

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I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-08-26T11:10:00.000-07:00

'Men cleverer than women' claim

Academics in the UK claim their research shows that men are more intelligent than women.

A study to be published later this year in the British Journal of Psychology says that men are on average five points ahead on IQ tests.

Paul Irwing and Professor Richard Lynn claim the difference grows when the highest IQ levels are considered.

Their research was based on IQ tests given to 80,000 people and a further study of 20,000 students.

'Widening gap'

Dr Irwing, a senior lecturer in organisational psychology at Manchester University, told the Today programme on BBC Radio Four the study showed that, up to the age of 14, there was no difference between the IQs of boys and girls.

"But beyond that age and into adulthood there is a difference of five points, which is small but it can have important implications," he said.

"This is against a background of women dramatically overtaking men in educational attainment and making very rapid advances in terms of occupational achievement."

The academics used a test which is said to measure "general cognitive ability" - spatial and verbal ability.

As intelligence scores among the study group rose, the academics say they found a widening gap between the sexes.

There were twice as many men with IQ scores of 125, for example, a level said to correspond with people getting first-class degrees.

At scores of 155, associated with genius, there were 5.5 men for every woman.

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PAT ROBERTSON:

2005-08-26T06:41:00.000-07:00

Why is it that the Very first time in my 51 years, I agree with something that Pat Robertson Has to say, And the very next day he deny's saying it...........

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This Gal Needs a Hobby:

2005-08-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

Dr. Terry Bennett, a 66-year old Rochester, New Hampshire physician who graduated from Harvard Medical School, loves antiques, and completely despises HMOs, is under investigation by the New Hampshire Board of Medicine because one of his patients got offended by one of his infamous "obesity lectures for women" where he urged her to lose weight for her health and for her long-term well-being. Bennett regularly warns his clients that obesity can and will very likely lead to such debilitating conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, acid reflux, heart attack and stroke.

"I told a fat woman she was obese," Bennett says. "I tried to get her attention. I told her, 'You need to get on a program, join a group of like-minded people and peel off the weight that is going to kill you."

While it might have been a little blunt for Bennett to share his opinion about his patient's condition the way that he did, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a doctor expressing his medical assessment that one of his patients is obese and should probably do something about it. While it may anger her to hear her doctor tell her something she didn't like, she needs to use that anger to motivate herself to finally do something about a very real problem. If we cannot rely on our own doctors to tell us the truth about our physical health, then who is going to do it?
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In Need of a Change?

2005-08-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

Well the Nascar thing just wasnt going anywhere so........on to bigger and better things.

On a weekly basis I am going to go over some of my impressions on some stupid things going on in the world, God knows there are plenty to deal with.

So stop on in every week to see who's Stupid Now.

Big Brother 6

2005-08-19T07:20:00.000-07:00

I Know its off topic........But is anyone into Big Brother 6.

And if so did you see the obvious rigging of the show on last nights show?

bsw

Check out this Great Blog...............

2005-08-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

Something Sexy bout a chick named Harry!!!!!

I am living a 30-something episode.